A friend recently poured her heart out on social media to set the record straight with the world, no cherry on top. She told her heartfelt story with truth, simplicity, honour and open-hearted vulnerability.
She inspired me to be real and true, in a way that makes me vulnerable and leaves me open.. Yes, I did just say vulnerable and open, and they aren’t the two weakest words in this blog, they’re the strongest. Here’s why..
I am as guilty as the next person of sugar-coating life and making out that everything is well in my world. It seems to be acceptable these days to downplay heartache and pain and promote joy, fun and celebrate the wins in our life. I truly believe that it is important to be optimistic and hopeful, and happiness is a great thing. We are often bombarded with negativity – why would we add to it on social platforms?
I’m all up for inspirational quotes, success stories and motivation too, but I also sincerely wish we could all validate our experience of the other side every once in a while..
I’m talking about the side that finds us crying in despair because our day was completely overwhelming. The side of us that hurts so much that we just can’t take one more thing, the side of us that is lonely, struggling, tired beyond belief, imperfect, broken, uninspired, disconnected, saddened, angry or scared.. Why? Because this side of us is our greatest teacher, and holds the key to deep learning and growth.
So I have been wondering – how do I add one more health and wellness website to the stream of perfect women promoting good health and fortune, when in the past month I have probably felt all of those seemingly negative states I wrote above?
How can I be a ‘wellness icon’ when I don’t crave kale or meditate for an hour a day or when I’ve given up sugar twice last year? I struggle mentally, emotionally and physically on a regular basis with psoriasis, I take strong medication for migraines when I need to. I sometimes make bad emotional decisions. I don’t have the perfect lifestyle, the perfect body, or pictures of me worshiping the sun at the beach and I certainly don’t live my life in a perpetual state of happiness, as some would have you believe.
I AM HUMAN. Ta daa! And you know what? You are too.
I’ve come to realise that we all have similar struggles, similar problems in the world, similar lifestyle choices to make and we’re all subjected to the same messages in the media (if you watch it anymore). You don’t need another vision of perfection sitting on a soap box preaching about how to live well. Like me, you’re probably searching for someone to say that it’s ok to live life imperfectly and do your best. It is ok to try and fail and get up and try again, the key is to find and truly value the beautiful lessons in the struggles.
The health and wellness industry sells images of beauty, perfection, of people ‘living the dream’, of people who never seem to struggle or have bad days..
It’s JUST. NOT. REAL. AND – it just makes us feel bad, like we’ll never be good enough unless we look a certain way or live a bright and shiny dream life with perfect hair and makeup and boho chic. It keeps us small and promotes a brand full of unsupportive messages and ‘I can never be that beautiful, organic, rich, together, tanned or gorgeous on my yoga mat’ kind of self-talk. We’re so bedazzled by it that we forget to stop and take a look at exactly what it is we want in our lives.
My point is, we could all meditate more, eat better, stress less, live more.. But we don’t need to whip ourselves with “not-good-enoughs”, there’s far too much of being hard on ourselves happening already.
I am proud to be perfectly imperfect. Will you join me and put yourself out there in real and vulnerable ways? Are you willing to live life your way, to learn and make mistakes, over and over again, each time growing more connected to yourself and the world and wiser for living?
I don’t have the NutriBullet, err.. I mean Magic bullet, and you don’t need one either because true happiness comes from appreciating the value in living every day with its ups and downs. The rest isn’t real remember?
If you’re not willing to do some work on yourself and prefer magic pills, this is not the place for you (sorry, I’m giving up sugar again so I couldn’t coat that sentence).
If you want more energy, true self-knowledge, focus, passion and purpose and are willing to create it, you’re in the right place. Here you can learn about wellness that isn’t about reaching a state of perfection. True wellness is about living each day, wholeheartedly using all parts of you to experience your life, your way, with your unique recipe for living.
Take inspiration here when you need it, show your true self, give others permission to do the same, and we can all begin to heal and grow in authentic ways.
So as I begin to grow roots in my new venture, I want to set the tone by committing to not only writing about why life is great but by also talking about the struggles in ways that we can all relate to and learn from. I want you to know that I will do my very best to also use vulnerable, open, wounded and raw parts of myself to learn, grow and teach, hopefully inspire and motivate you to also embrace all parts of your beautiful self.
To finish, here’s 5 quick ways to be real..
1. Recognise that you’re not perfect and love yourself anyway. ALL parts of yourself, including, and most importantly the raw emotional vulnerabilities.
2. When you catch those “Not good enoughs” creeping in, switch to expansive “possibility” thinking instead.
3. Enjoy life! Go to your favourite coffee shop and eat that piece of cake and enjoy it.. revel in it and be thankful. Do something you love every day because the dishes can wait.
4. Get into nature. Go for a walk, feel the sunshine on your face, take deep breaths, get wet and blown about. Nature is messy too and being in it will help you remember your perfectly imperfect human nature and help you to feel ALIVE.
5. Practice random acts of kindness – being kind to others for no reason serves to make people feel surprised, and may just restore their (and your) faith in human kind.
Want to learn more?
My Dynamic Wellness course offers practical ways to live authentically. We go much deeper into wellness than diet and exercise, so you can begin to acknowledge all the parts that make you beautiful, happy, healthy and unique. Come on a journey and create a deeply fulfilling life, YOUR WAY.
Be true, be you x
Please leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share if you like what you read, and we can start a wave of being real.